Thanks LT. It IS scary.


I see Pdoc via telehealth on 1/6 and I see T on 1/9. I was supposed to see T 1/2 but someone at my work *may* have Covid and so I cancelled with her because I don't want to expose her if I have been exposed. Which I'm not even sure if I have been exposed and not even sure if he has it but it kind of seems like he has the symptoms and I was in his cubicle for 2 minutes, with a mask on though.


But I might need to call T before then if this demon thing keeps up. Sucky thing is I don't really think she can help but she is at least calming. Pdoc might want to change some meds or something.


But then of course there's the scary possibility that it is real and not in my head! no T or medication can help that! So in which case, I've been talking to Pastor T's wife. Trying to cover all my bases. And a coworker is thinking good thoughts for me. Not sure if that will help but she made me feel better about something else so that was nice.


Just not really sure what to do with this demon guy hanging around. Ugh.


At least today I'm not so self destructive feeling and at least I didn't act on any of that yesterday. I did leave a sort of telling FB post and a bunch of people were like you okay? But I didn't want to be like oh yeah, fine just seeing a demon. I'm sure that wouldn't have gone over well. At least here on MSF (formerly PC) I can be myself and say what is going on with me without fear of being judged.