The exact thing happened to me. He deployed constantly, then falls for his coworker and have a n affair while I took care of the house and kids as he travelled the world with his mistress, and told me he was on "work trips". I forgave him, and we had two wonderful years after that, then he tells me he doesn't love me and already has a lawyer. Merry Christmas to me. I have accepted the fact, I wish I would have a mother or a father to help me out. My sister is pregnant with high risk and can't tell her. I downloaded with my friend's previously and I won't do this to them again. I am cauterizing my wound myself and letting go. I love him and it's so hard not being loved back. I really have no interest in finding anyone else at this point. I am too traumatized by it all and my kids are my priority right now.

Go to counseling. Help yourself. Get a new hair cut. Get a manicure. Take care of you. Good luck