I share your concerns. I'm 46 going on a second divorce, after 15 years together and putting every effort. What another said here is true, what are the similarities between your two exes? Both of them were men in uniform that spent a lot of time away from home with occupations that provided them adrenaline rushed and plenty of opportunity to cheat. Both of them seemed to have me talk health issues and I was the stability they craved. After such traumatizing situations I really want nothing to do with dating, that is just an invitation to more heartache at this point. I still love my husband, but I don't know if I can hear " I don't love you" one more time. I'm hurt, but hopeful for happiness for me and everyone out there who is suffering.