Hi Sunflowersky welcome to my support forums. Wow, you have known this soon to be ex for a long time and you were married very young too. From what you have shared of his behavior, it's really time for you to follow through with this divorce and be free of this guy that clearly doesn't respect you. Please don't conclude this break up is your fault. It's time for you to learn how to be more independent, you are 26 and should be learning how to be and independent stronger you. The first step is seeing how unhealthy this guy has been for you and making the healthy choice of divorcing him instead of allowing him to keep using you and controlling you.

While you may feel like crap right now, after you regain your sense of self back you will see him for what he is and be thankful you have a chance to get a divorce so you can finally grow and live your OWN life now.