Well, you did not seem to get a very friendly welcome did you? All women too. I am sorry because you are clearly frustrated and at a loss.

The reason that happened that you are not getting in this picture is that you have made having sex become TRANSACTIONAL. What women here highlighted has been the different things you have said that sounds like, I have done this, and this, and this and this now so when do I get paid?

First, from reading your post I want to say I BELIEVE that you are trying very hard and you are genuinely frustrated. I can see that you have tried to be the model husband and father and you have tried to think about all the things that you can do to have a healthy home environment. You don't deserve to be punished, especially when you have taken the time to share your frustration that is clearly gotten you in a sort of desperate mindset. I can see you are trying so hard I don't want to beat you up for it. HOWEVER, there are things that do stand out to me in what you share.

First of all having two small children only 2 and 1 is A LOT to handle. They are always NEEDING so much attention. Your wife is already in a sort of constant transactual that children demand of her. Most likely when she finally gets them to bed she is at a point where she needs to decompress and have some personal time. It's very probable that she needs her down time and the last thing she wants is to tend to something else and unfortunately, that means getting into a mood to satisfy you. I don't think it's you personally either, instead it's probably her overall mood to begin with.

When women have children and are ON all day tending to the needs of her children there comes a time where the last thing she wants is to tend to anything else. The other challenge right now is how this pandemic has cut off so many things that allow a person to distance and get a break. Can't just go to a mall or the beauty parlor or out to a quiet dinner or a movie or even to church or any kind of social activity. And depending on what state someone lives in, even schools are closed which presents a new challenge of the children being home all day including young children that could be in daycare so mom can get a break.

You started over and that means you now have a young family again. Well, a young family means lots of work and responsiblity. So your wife has two little ones in the home and how may others and how old?

When your wife said "I am going with the girls", DO YOU KNOW WHY? My guess is that your wife just needed to get out of that home with you the other children and those two dogs and have some time with a friend. I agree with other posters that did not like how you reacted to that by insisting she not go and telling her you would call the police if she did go. @TheWhiteSheep that was a bad thing to do on your part, please take an honest step back and think about it.

It sounds like you married a younger woman, well, you don't own this woman. She is younger and will need HER OWN SPACE and that includes her right to get a break and visit a friend. You are trying to create YOUR idea of THE perfect relationship and family here and you are not considering some important things. When you don't see important things when it comes to other's needs all the other things you do no longer mean anything. You are seeing YOUR picture here and not the bigger picture. Unfortunately this happens a lot and in all honesty, with this pandemic there is a lot more strain where outlets are significantly reduced.

Your pouting and making remarks as you have described along with trying to prevent her from planning some time with a friend are all very childish and she already has enough of that in her orbit. Choices have consequences and you chose to start all over again and you have young children. Well, this is new to your wife, and what that means is she is NOW in a constant mother role and it AINT EASY. When a woman has a child there is less time for her own needs, it's quite an adjustment and it's constant. It's hard enough with one baby and your wife has two and a two year old is still very much just a baby. And it is 7 days a week and constant unless someone has a nanny or daycare. It isn't that you are a dog, it's more that she is dog tired and the last thing she wants is to have yet another presence pawing at her and demanding her attention. You have to really see where you actually are in this picture TheWhiteSheep once a woman becomes a mother her whole life changes. Suddenly so many demands on her.