(((((((deepblue)))))))) sorry for your loss =( I do hope you can find your mom in your mind/thoughts and heart to hold you when you need it and to take your pain away. Keep that warm memory alive within you if you can. Blades (or other methods) are so cold - they only take- not give warmth or love. They only pretend to help.
Keep reaching out, talk to ppl. stay connected with life. I'm here - I understand losing a loved one. PM if you need to.
Kiya