The car is like a little piece of my sweetheart who is gone from me. And it's been destroyed. The value that was still in that car was from what he had earned. If it had not been abused, that car could have been reliable transportation for a good few years more. Someone could have had their life much improved by the gift of that car. Then I would have felt such joy seeing this small legacy of my bf's continuing to provide value for someone. It would mean that something my bf accomplished was still enduring. And I let it just get trashed.

My bf had very nice furniture and a lot of expensive medical equipment. (Thousands of dollars worth.) I wasn't up to selling stuff. I donated most of it. I was so pleased that I found good homes for just about everything. I was so glad to know that valuable stuff was "rehomed" where it could do much good. People were so glad to get things. That warmed my heart. I'm so sorry I blew it with the car. Right now I can't even forgive myself. It was such laziness on my part. I haven't done the paperwork at court to be authorized to transfer title to the car. Now I have to get it towed to a junkyard. I should have, at least, taken the plates off yesterday. I forgot that.

Please help me accept what can't be changed . . . and get busy doing what still needs to be done. Dirty dishes are piling up in the kitchen. I stayed in bed most of today. I'm getting way too disheartened over this. I wonder whether he'ld forgive me, if he were here.

In just putting these posts together, I have become an emotional wreck. Please help me figure out how to get past this.