from 2nd grade to 8th grade i too was bullied and was a "loner" and in the 4th grade wrote a letter of intent for the want to commit suicide
i still have thoughts once in a while but it does not control my life
some events during my 7th/8th grade years gave me courage to get help and i did take group therapy for a few months
i thought i had anti social at first- but I have more of the Schizoid personality disorder- but not enough to be truly diagnosted- im doing my best to self help myself- also why I am here and everyone else here
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for the sake of your life and the ones around you- you have 2 good choises:
1: sitting down with your family and asking them to listen untill your done talking and then open it up for conversation
2: go to a school councler or a school school psychologist and tell them you think you have anti social personailty disorder and want to see a doctor about it for help
being blunt- school shootings are a result of kids not geting the help they deserve
if you truly have had those thought to the extent your talking about- be it your family or someone else- you need to WANT to change and do what you can to do it
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The past is behind me, The future is unknown, and the present is all I have
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