I would suggest getting professional help.

Yes, your ex-husband could, one day, forgive you. Who knows... However, for now, I would give him space and concentrate on you working on yourself instead. He, like you say, went through hell, so let him do his healing.

I also wouldn't advise contacting the man you had the affair with.

Seek professional (i.e. mental health) help instead, to sort yourself out & for support.