First of all, i am So Sorry for your Loss! i understand that you must feel hurt by seeing something that belonged to your boyfriend being treated like this. But Please remember that it was not your fault as you did not do any direct damage on that car. Mistakes happen and although the decision to lend that car was yours, it was still a decision made in good Faith and it was ultimately their responsability to handle it with care, so Please don't beat yourself up for this. i am confidend that you will be able to get through this, one step at the time, and i agree that it is pointless to assign blame to others as it won't change what happene. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Rose76, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!