I hate it!!!

You know I had couple of instances when similar things happened to me. Like someone was teasing in a very unpleasant manner repeatedly. Couple of different people over the years. In almost every occasion I directly addressed it. I tell them I consider it rude and inappropriate. It stopped and never happened again. In most cases people aplogize.

Now I am talking about repeated insult or teasing (repeated teasing is sometimes veiled insult-not always). But I’d see if that’s repeated. If it’s just one time I don’t make a big fuss. If it’s one time thing I’d ignore it. Usually

Now sometimes when direct confrontation and speaking up isn’t desirable or just not helpful, I play “dumb”. My brother believes I am extremely good at it. He cant do it with straight face.

Let’s say someone makes dumb joke on your expense, someone who tends to do it and direct confrontation doesn’t work and you can’t avoid them because they are family, for example.

You maintain neutral facial expression and ask “what do you mean” or something similar. When they say they were kidding, ask for explanation of a joke. At the end the other person will be the one embarrassed or they’ll leave you alone. Like “no? I can’t have filet mignon? Are you guys out of it?” “I was joking”.. “oh so what was the joke? I think I missed the joke”. Just keep asking questions. But you gotta do it with pleasant facial expression and very neutral. You must not show that you are upset or anything. It takes practice

Now with the lady in a thrift shop, since it’s unclear what she meant (I don’t know what she meant), I’d ask what she meant. If she said it’s a joke, I’d ask what’s the joke as you don’t get it etc Id actually wanted to know what she meant, “they’d be surprised”?

When I was young, I’d let things go (would be upset but wouldn’t confront) or I’d move on from people like this without confrontation. It changed as I got older.

On one hand I have much much thicker skin now and not too much phases me but on the other hand if something does phase me and I don’t want to let it go, I confront directly (or do my “dumb” game if they don’t respond to confrontation but I need them off my back)