I've been on compounded ketamine for a couple or three of years now-it's a nasal spray. It really helps me. I still get suicidal, but not as often nor for as long nor as serious about my intentions. I have a history of alcoholism/drug abuse so I was rather hesitant to try it-my pdoc at the time was also in recovery and he literally told me that we knew what to do if I got addicted (at the time I had over 20 yrs sobriety) but we didn't have any way to help if I was dead. So I tried it. I watch very closely for addictive thinking and although the thought that I am looking forward to the relief that the next dose will give, I have not gotten in the habit of extra doses or of taking more than prescribed. I actually take less that prescribed. My dosage is 60 mg once a week. I have a dissociative disorder as well, and I find that the dissociation from the ketamine is really nothing like when I dissociate or switch. I keep telling the docs/compounding pharmacist this, but they still warn about it. I definitely don't drive until after I have slept after a dose. I prefer it to the Esketamine now being offered because I can do it at home and it costs way less. My cost is $70 for a month.