I have also found Janina Fisher's book very helpful. And, I saw that she is coming out with a new one that may be more of a workbook. With that said, I have trouble distinguishing kindness from meanness. I think because they were so confused when I was a child. I often feel like letting the littles speak up is a mistake. So, I get it. Even trauma-informed and trauma specialist Ts haven't been super helpful. Right now I am working my way thru a book by Deb Dana that has exercises for "safety and connection". I am not very far along, but I like her approach.