Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
Having a miscarriage is very traumatic and a woman can even develop
Ptsd. Then your wife had a second miscarriage.
It’s very possible she is questioning her value and may be suffering from depression. It’s very possible this affair was more an effort to escape and even try to repair her sense of self worth. Your wife should work through this with a therapist. It’s probable she is very emotionally traumatized and confused.
It’s understandable that you are yourself hurt and confused. In fact it would help you to read about how traumatizing a miscarriage can be so you understand the gravity of her challenge. Also it would benefit you to see a therapist yourself.
This should not be a black and white scenario. If you love each other you can get past this challenge.
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Open Eyes,
I suggested counseling early on but she dismissed it saying that we would never be able to recover from what she did. Then we got into the subsequent fight and she cut communication. Any contact has been generally hit with stonewalling or a very business/lawyer (her profession) response. I tried to find a way to move on and accept, but she also started engaging in the strange behavior of sneaking into our condo unannounced or installing spy cameras.
I really do worry about the effect of the miscarriages on her mental state. I have been trying to understand and even done some of the therapist recommended exercises of acknowledging and writing letters to the children we thought we were going to have. It is more devastating than I cared to admit at the time it happened. But any help I might try to provide seems to be met with an exaggerated response or some type of strange behavior as I mentioned with the sneaking or spy cameras. I have tried to make sure that her parents and friends are going to be there for her, but I honestly don't see any opportunity for reconciliation and the hope of it just leaves me sunken and depressed by the situation. But if you think there is still something I am missing I am definitely open to any advice. This whole situation has left me mistrusting my judgement.