It was another stunt.
A back up plan.
I was going harikiri.
I proved my point.
Back at meltdown one,
After going off the rail's,
I had to re-evaluate my life.
After the first stunt,
I had found my calling.
I will confess, I don't regret it.
Strange thing is,
I think that some really understood
Why I had rebelled
And went off the rails.
Look at the hand I was dealt.
My family were mega strict
And did the bare minimum
To supprort me.
Some of my friend's were wild.
Everyone knew I clashed
With authority and teacher's.
Thug had an abysmal reputation
And people saw how he turned on me.
I was from a humble backround
And I was intelligent.
So I'd have other challenges
When or if I went on to learning.
My head was not in the clouds.
I knew in reality that the
Odd' s were stacked against me, and
I had to find a way out. Needed to.
I loved music, but
Guitar solo's bored me to tear's
And missing live music
Didn't put me up or down.
I was alway's doing
Other endeavour's while music played-
Training, walking, commuting,
With friend's, as backround music.
I only got into art because
I had built this wall.
I was good at sport,
Thankfully I never made it.
I had gone further
Than I thought I would.
But the spark had been lit.
My choice's had led me
To where I needed to be and
My old flame didn't get it.
He did not have a
Creative bone in his body.
He did not get the process,
Or that I had been drifting,
Toward's another path
Long before the meltdown.
I changed as soon
As I went to high school.
I grew up quickly
Because of my home life
And then again
When I had a breakdown.
It wasn't me who was ignorant and naive.