i am sure MANY People can relate to what you're saying! Please do try to take things one step at the time. i know it is hard but definitely try to find as many distractions as you possibly can and to resist as well as remembering that we are here if you need to talk. Feel free to pm me. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Lonelyinmyheart, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!