I smoked weed and took a xanax. I just don't care about trying anymore.

My mom and sister had a fight last night. I don't understand the abuse and neglect that we endured and I'm jealous that my sister is leaving me with my mom - A histrionic dramatic alcoholic in denial.

All the things I planned to do for self improvement are meaningless - Either no one cares or they criticize me and say that the things I do are just a phase and I should focus on one thing.

I wish I could get really ****ed up on something. I'm suicidal almost every day.