I don't want to lose what we negotiated I suppose. He is afraid of that also. I supposed we are both afraid of hurting each other and we are trying to avoid litigation and salvage whatever is left for civility and coordislity. He has no intention to draw blood in court and neither do I. He travels for work, so flexibility and cooperation is needed. Believe me, if we hated each other things would be much easier, but we care about each other very much. I just want the children to be happy. About the control thing, I suppose that could be argued the other way around if you ask him lol! But the truth of the matter is that he threatens with suicide often and has terrible depression and I don't want a tragedy. I just want him to be happy and safe, want the kids to have some memories of him and I want to make sure I am taking care of as he promised, I'm almost 50 and I deserve my fair share of everything that we both worked do hard to get. I just want to make it through the week, and do the best I can as we negotiate, but he really needs to go, I'm tired.