No one is perfect and we can all look back and see things we failed to do in a relationship and in parenting. I respect the fact that you are willing to be self aware and admit your part in the relationship failure. One of the reasons so many relationships fall apart when children are in their teens is because this is when the challenge of being a parent gets more taxing as this is when the children are exploring themselves and their independence and they often make choices that the parent is taken back by and they can be defiant and seem at times to be lacking in the ability to be considerate. This is typically when a child is developmentally more narcissisitic and self absorbed. Yet this is also a stage where the parent is needed and this requires a lot more skill and thought on the part of the parents.

When we raise children we tend to be guided by our own life experiences and a lot of this is actually on a subconscious level. And as the child gets to their more independent high school years it can actually contribute to the parent reminising about when they had that freedom and they can begin to long for that period of their lives especially since the parent is older. They go through this period of realizing how much older they are and what that means. It can become a time of discontent and regrets and stepping back and saying to self, "I am not very happy with where I am in my life".

I believe you, I believe you were unhappy and your wife was unhappy and yet there can be ways the two of you can work on getting past this difficult stage of life and make some changes together. But @WW Victim, it has to be something both have to be willing to work on. And if the partner doesn't want to do that part then there is little you can do.

This pandemic has made this extra challenging due to how all this quarantining has led to couples having to be in each other's space more than ever. Add to that the stress that is present and it's become a genuine recipe for a lot of unhappiness and desire to escape this trapped feeling. Unfortunately this has led to a lot of divorces and relationship challenges and family challenges due to everyone being so house bound. This definitely has contributed to magnifying whatever discontent was present. It has also contributed to many experiencing depression and anxiety. And for those who already struggle, it's often much harder. Some are experiencing a lot of desire to "flight" and even "fight" making any idea of "working harder at repair" often extremely undesirable.

Is there any way the two of you can live in separated spaces for a while? Separation doesn't always mean a period before divorce or that divorce is eminent.