im sorry youre having such a tough time lately. As regard smaking friends would you beinterested in joining a mental health club....these are places where you can participate in activities such as art creative writing health management and group therapy to name but a few or else you can just drop in for a coffee....thereis no pressure and you do what you want.....you will meet lots of likeminded people there who understand and have been through it.....look in to it if i were you