In retrospect, I'm not reacting well to what T said last session about how I should be teflon and let things my H says slide off of me. That feels like moving backward to me. I have fought hard against childhood patterns of retreating inside walls I built and too many years of shielding myself from pain in a marriage. I have fought hard against not feeling so that I could feel. It seemed like this was growth to me, moving forward, becoming more accessible, more human.

And now T says he wants me to be teflon. That feels like hiding behind the walls when I was a child. And refusing to set boundaries and admit I was hurt by others' actions.

Why do I even go to therapy if T is going to tell me stuff like that? How can that be therapeutic? I don't want to go behind walls again. I am very confused. Has he given up on me?