First of all, i am So Sorry for your Loss! i must agree with the other wise posters that this doesn't seem like an healthy Family. Is it possible for you to move out and go live with someone else, such as some Friends or other people whom you trust? Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Chocopiano27, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!