As my t said my mine is a castle with an incredible defence situation. And I've gotten in a big room. When i went on a trip with my parents, I felt connected to my Dad, for the first time in a very long time. Then we came home, and he went back to work, and when not at work, the tv and computer were important and I felt neglected. I've felt neglected my whole life, and not just from my dad. That's when depression started to be known.

Today, I'm 32, and living at home. It's been four years since I moved home. And now the feelings of neglect have surfaced on an incredibly difficult day, if not year. COVID doesn't help, I need connection and I have no one outside work and home to talk too. I'm angry that I didn't see the truth, instead I've been in denial. I'm terrified, and my depression isn't helping. I've got IBS, and I hate the way I look. I'm going through grief too, from having to leave school because I was in denial about what my professors saw. Now I see it and I'm horrified that I can't change to make a dream happen.

Terrified of what could come if I tell my dad that I feel neglected. And terrified of letting my t know that I'm not in a great mindset right now. And then I want to cry and run away.