i can relate to your struggles and i am So Sorry you have to put up with this! i feel like it may be worth it to analyze yourself and ask what is it, exactly, that you want to do as a Living and as a potential dream job. You've said that you're well-read so perhaps something in the academic field may be worth it if you can afford it, or even something else entirely different based on your interests and your aspirations. So Sorry if my post wasn't Helpful. Please do try to be the best that you can be. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @NonFiction, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!