I feel so empty, so numb. He cheated and everything changed, we patched things up for two years, them out of the blue he says he doesn't love me and that he has a divorce lawyer appointment (today). I was gaslighted and did not expect this.

I am crushed. He still in the house as he I am sure is waiting for a place to move out to. I am trying to be civil, supportive and amicable, because we have small children and I don't want them to hear fights. But he acts as if I'm trying to come up to him, he is so cold and distant. This hurts because I love him. I've been working towards acceptance and letting go, but I love him and I feel so stupid for loving him.still.

He has said things like I don't love you, it's not like I don't want to do those things, it's that I do t want to do them with you, paying a comment shouldn't be so hard, I've faked it for years etc.etc.etc. So... So mean. Two conversations like this, amontmongst 15 years of love, devotion and respect. I don't understand.

At this point I made the decisions you believe him and accept, but this is hard. I felt depressed today, haven't been depressed in 30 years. Maybe it is like hesate says, that I deserve all the things that he is not willing to give me, that he was not a good husband or father, that I deserve happiness. But I was happy!! It was him the one that wasnt. After some soul-searching and consults with his boss, it appears that he made the conclusion that he is manic depressive/bipolar, which I have known for the past year. So..now I'm clinging to the idea that he would actually seek help for his depression and connect to the world again, so I'm.stupod again, full of love and compassion for a person that fell out if love, cheated and now is leaving again to go seek what he wants.

I'm confused and feel stupid.