Dear isolated10,

I am so very, very sorry for the terrible ordeal you are suffering. It is absolutely heartbreaking! I wish I knew what to say to help ease your pain. I can't even imagine what you must be going through with the situations you described about your family and work and all the conflicts and disappointments, stress and distress.

You are clearly a good person in a bad situation. Please do not do anything to harm yourself. Such action would be a horrible loss to the world and would be devastating to your children for the rest of their lives. I think your thoughts and feelings are very understandable given your situation, but please, please do not do harm to yourself.

Hopefully these Forums will prove helpful to you. The unbelievable stress you are under might have caused you to fall into the illness of depression. Please consider seeing a physician for treatment for this. When everything was going wrong in my life, medical treatment helped me enormously. And it helped me to regain lost weight. Depression can make the stresses of life worse and the depression and stress can feed each other in a vicious cycle.

I think you are a very heroic person to be bearing such heavy, heavy burdens. People who have never had to bear such burdens will never understood how much nobility and heroism it takes to bear them. I feel badly that I do not have the wisdom to be able to help you since I admire you so much. Hopefully others here will have better words for you than my poor words. Even when everything is going wrong, there is always hope.

If you continue to be plagued with suicidal thoughts, please call a suicide crisis hotline. Staff at these hotlines are trained to be able help and do help people. I was helped by counselors at a crisis hotline myself.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen