From one of my abuse groups:

Be gentle to yourselves:

• You aren't responsible for the abuse happening to you.
• You need to set boundaries but don't expect the abuser to respect them. You are not responsible for an abuser disrespecting your boundaries.
• You aren't abusive. The abuser causes "reactive abuse" so to make you seem like you are equally responsible. You aren't.
• Self love and respect has nothing to do with the abuse you are suffering. Loving or respecting yourself more won't stop or prevent abuse.

What you are responsible for:

• Self care. Make sure you eat, sleep, and care for your basic needs.
  
• Start making a plan to get out of it. Contact a local domestic violence agency or your national one for advice and help to get started.