So did what you do this past year leave you feeling vulnerable in some way? The only way to make gains on this is to learn how to take a chance and be a little vulnerable and let the chips fall where they may and that you "can" let loose a little instead of having those walls up constantly. That is very hard for someone who is very self protective. It's that wounded part in you that you are protecting so it's understandable how hard it is for you to let that wall you built up come down at all.

You don't need to go back and fix whatever you did, try to let it lay as is.