When i was younger and put on meds, I was resistant but could not voice that its not a chemical imbalance but i have been abused. I have not had depression symptoms for years now, until recent. As a matter of like 2 weeks or so, not sure what has brought it on, just know that I have a lot of PTSD memories surface and a bad case of insomnia. I feel apathetic, disconnected, and yesterday and today, a few fleeting thoughts of suicide. Urges to self harm. I know its not chemical its years of repressing my traumas. Been working with a therapist for 7 years, and my dissociation makes for any real progress difficult. DID sucks. I know I may start on a pill but it wont last after a while I know parts of me will not take it and make sure of it. I am so confused on how I am feeling lately.