Saying that they love you, and acting like they love you, are two different things.

My mother said that she loved me, and it is possible that she did love me in her self-centered way. I was most "loved" when I was getting good degrees, good jobs, etc., things that made her look good, so she could brag about me and feel like she was a successful mother. I wasn't loved for just myself, who I am, mostly she didn't approve of who I am, to the extent that she even knew who I was.

Haha one time she and one of my high school teachers agreed that Bill "knows what he wants", and I marveled at how little they both knew of me.

I think that if someone loves you in a meaningful way then they accept you and welcome you as you are, attend to you, take your wishes into account, act in kind and loving ways to you.

So to me it is quite possible for someone to claim that they love you, and also be harmful to you. My mother was a good example of that.