So Sorry for your Losses and to hear that you're struggling! Definitely discuss what you're experiencing and feeling with your therapist. If he's a good therapist he will understand what you're saying and Hopefully try to help you overcome this. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Ifeelstupid, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!