I agree with @sarahsweets. Unfortunately, often times love is not enough. Your wife was unfaithful and now she wants a divorce. Since she doesn't trust herself anymore, what does that mean? That she would be unfaithful again? In my mind, once someone steps outside the marriage to have an affair, it ruins the relationship and all trust. Sure, trust can be rebuilt over time, but that's really hard to accomplish, and would she just simply cheat on you again, and how would you truly feel if you were to stay in this marriage? Two people have both got to be willing to work on the relationship in order for it to work. And it seems your wife's response is to divorce rather than work on things.

My husband and I are in somewhat of a similar spot, though very different. He cheated on me, and that was the final straw for me. But that's where I personally draw the line - I told him that IF he EVER cheated, then it would be over. And so now it is and I am divorcing him. He wants to work on the marriage, but I do not. Some people are able to forgive and move on, but at what cost to them?