During consumption there is a level of inebriation where the alcoholic feels emboldened and they begin saying/talking about things that are very inappropriate for the situation or group of people they are interacting with. Like things said about themselves or personal challenges that are not talked about while working for example or with clients. It's down right embarrassing and for a friend/spouse/child is a matter of trying to figure out how to distance when experiencing this inappropiate behavior. There is this understanding where you know you can't challenge them otherwise it makes the situation even MORE challenging and embarrassing. It's an awful feeling where you KNOW your feelings are not going to be considered and if you DO speak up you pay a terrible price for it. You are NOT ALLOWED to spoil their BUZZ where they are so emboldened and they HAVE TO say things even when it's so inappropriate and self centered.

I did a job last summer and ALL the adults were drinking and were in that "nice mood" stage. The children were all afraid to take a turn and engage and I worked very hard at trying to get them more comfortable. And I had one child that would and the others took so much time and I was there a long time, all the while these adults were consuming and as they did they got more an more emboldened and unaware and in my space too. That's when I REALLY have to pay attention because that's when stupid things happen that can put me at risk. Oh they kept wanting me to drink with them and I had to keep repeating that I never drink while working EVER. They were not paying attention and got sloppy and let the dog out and that dog made a B line for me which makes it very dangerous and now they are so drunk I am left alone with it all the while KNOWING I have to be careful about how I react because WE DO NOT WANT to ruin that BUZZ where they all get angry at me. I was glad I managed to get through that experience and I know those people have NO IDEA what it was like for me to deal with them.

Oh, it's that mentality where you KNOW that if you ruin their BUZZ and set a boundary they WILL go on a rage rant that isn't controlled BECAUSE OF THE ALCOHOL. When you are young and are around an alcoholic you end up learning things NO normal child has to learn. And when you don't really know what it is so you can't say anything, you begin to think this is what adults do and DON'T interupt it.

I had a friend that was an alcoholic, drank everyday but concealed it so I did not notice right away. She was one that expected even those at work to deal with her problems and accept her excuses for her state of mind where she was there but distracted. A lot of times it was about her marriage and unhappiness, yet part of her problem is how her husband had distanced because of her drinking and well, sometimes she stunk too and was sloppy and wanted that drunk sloppy sex from him. Well, I had long day of work and crashed in exhaustion and it was midnight and I got a call and it was my friend needing me to "rescue" her because she had her horse and pony in her horse trailer and the police would not let her drive. Well, I thought about the animals and so I got out of bed and in my truck and drove to where she was. It was awful because the police were angry and when I got there they actually were RUDE to me as though what they were dealing with was MY FAULT AND REPSONIBLITY. My friend reeked of alcohol and she was having the wrong attitude with the police. I had to pull her aside and try to get her to LISTEN even though she was not all there due to the alcohol, I had to play the nice guy role to get her to not challenge the police so she would not get arrested. Then I had to get her truck unhooked and hook my truck up to her trailer so I could drive her to where she kept her horses and then home. It's was a drive and I was tired already and I was SO ANGRY because those two animals in that trailer had been worked all day and they had no water and she was in no condition to be driving them and putting them at risk. Her reply was "oh they will be ok, they are used to it", ugh how awful.

I was so angry and every time she talked she smelled and filled my truck with that alcohol smell which is something they don't even know they emit. She had been driving without being registered and she was not supposed to be driving either so that's why they took away her vehicle. And I kept thinking how it was costing me a tank of gas and some important sleep and my feelings were not important. I did scold her on the way home, I did not care if she got angry either. That's when I decided I was DONE trying to help her or feel sorry for her. And she never even called me to apologize either or pay for my fuel cost. I tried to help her, she would not stop and died of alcoholism and she was only 50 with three children and her children all developed addiction problems one son died in a car accident. Yes, "passing things down" is what happened.

I understand that it's hard to finally stop and commit to recovery and it's a lot of work that can take years. I do respect the commitment to live one's life sober. But I am NOT going to have an alcoholic in my life. They DO NOT respect me, it's always all about them and they do not care about you be it you parents dying or being in the hospital or facing important challenges of your own, no, they are very self absorbed and constantly involved with their disease and need YOU to be on call and go along with it and even enable it. And they don't even see how their level of alcohol in their system affects their behavior and what it means to others around them. It is a very narcissistic disease and it really hurts others who try to care about them only to get hurt and discarded.