@Here we go again I think you understand that I am not telling you to enable your husband. I can see you have a lot of emotional confusion and still love him. What I am saying is that he may not be able to give you what you want and it's important you come to terms with this and take steps to take care of yourself.

There are times we love someone and they behave in ways that are beyond our capacity to help them. I have had to learn this myself with the disease of alcoholism and even how that can accompany the battle of ptsd in a person too. (don't know if you husband uses alcohol to cope with his ptsd or not)

It sounds like you are grieving and experiencing a lot of mixed emotions. This is when you need to step back, get therapy and help for yourself instead of carrying all this burden you are experiencing.