That is exactly why I make sure that when my brother talks about it that I make sure I acknowledge HIS feelings and hurts that he shares.
My older sister used to drink a lot, always alcohol and wine around in her house. I have had some serious challenges with my sister and my husband kept saying "she is either a closet drunk or a dry drunk".
I am sorry @
Moose72, truth is unless someone stops and goes through a program and therapy, they don't even realize how their behaviors hurt their friends, spouses and loved ones. If they are actively engaged in the disease, FORGET trying to say anything.
Covid has led to some going out after years of sobriety, and my husband has gotten a few phone calls where different ones died because of it.