((NWTR))

I don't see how it's possible for any person to forgive if the abuse is still occurring. It's like expecting to heal from surgery while you're still in the operating room.

I think in order to truly forgive, a person would have to set up safeguards to make sure the abuse never happens again. Only then can you start the process of forgiveness and healing.

My mother was in a coma for several weeks after a suicide attempt when I was 17. By that time, I thought I hated the woman. But when the doctors told us she would most likely die, I realized somewhere deep down I loved her.

I prayed hard for God to spare my mother. I vowed to forgive her for her abuse and treat her kindly, regardless of what she threw at me. I did a good job too, but it wasn't sincere. I had to build emotional walls of protection to keep her from getting to me and to keep my own emotions in check when around her.

It wasn't until after she was gone that I could find the strength to sincerely forgive her. I was able to tear down the walls because I knew it would never happen again.

If you have to build walls, just make sure you leave enough window space to allow good people into your life. It helps to keep you from falling into the same harmful behavior.

I still like your idea of praying for them. I'll pray for them too.

If you think you're strong enough to forgive without any walls, I challenge you to prove me wrong.