i was worried about being detached and not feeling deeper things... and now, two days later i am in so much emotional pain. Things with T have hit a major obstacle and i don't know what to do. i can't talk to him about something that is upsetting me... makes me feel like walking away. Everyone will say to just talk to him.. but this is so very important to me.. walking away without taking the risk is better than what i would suffer if i took it and things did not go as i need them to.. i can't really explain it here, but it won't even help to explain what i just said to him because it wouldn't help.. things have changed, the "rules" have changed

i need something from him and i cannot ask.. without this i don't see how therapy can continue.. this is a really bad day