How are you working 20 hours in a day? Leaving 4 hours to sleep and eat? I'm sorry you are upset about your life, but if you don't have a satisfying job then you'll be like the majority of people and go to work, do what you need to do and then collect the check. You are the only person who can improve your life. Are you connected with groups in your area that assist people with autism and do they have programs to assist adults in your situation?