Saw T on Saturday. I was a little concerned when I got there because her car wasn't there. I was like, "Oh no. She forgot." But I just played on my phone and soon enough she came. Whew.


She said she is only seeing in person me and one other person. She knows I am responsible she says plus I just got my negative Covid test. We sit six feet apart and wear masks.


She was very happy and very proud.


She asked how my appointment went with the Pdoc. I told her that the Pdoc wants to put me on Latuda as well as the Rexulti because of the hallucinations. She said, "Lets talk about your hallucinations."

So I told her about the demon. I told her that Pastor T doesn't think it is real. She said she doesn't think so either. But when we talked about the hallucinations we called it a demon just to have common ground as to what to call it. We talked about it grabbing my throat. She said that was interesting. What had I said that I wasn't supposed to say? I told her about some times recently at work where I have had to make an unpopular stand. I talked about what the demon was saying to me We ended up talking about what I was fearful of.


Fearful of people being angry with me. It's like a terror that I have. I can't stand it. It frightens me to death.


Flashback to work. Fearful of coworker being angry with me. Aha. Precipitating event. I'm not crazy. The hallucinations had a meaning. It didn't "come out of nowhere." She said Pdoc is afraid because of the demon. It's unlike me. I must have been very fearful. I was.


T said I am becoming more clear. This made me happy. This is progress.--Kit