I think the best thing I could suggest, perhaps for the both of you, at the moment would be to join a transgender forum website. There are several of them. And I believe each one has a forum for significant others as well as forums for transgender individuals themselves. Three that I am familiar with (in no particular order) are Susan's Place, TransPulse, and TransRefuge. You might take a look at all three & see if one strikes you in particular. You could both join the same one or you could each join a different one. But whichever one(s) you might join, you would be in touch with others who have tread, or are treading, the same path you & your spouse are on.

You mentioned both hormones and counseling are on hold due to medical. I presume by that you're referring to health insurance coverage? Given what you wrote here, as well as what you've written previously, it sounds to me as though gender therapy is going to be vital for your spouse, individual counseling / therapy may be important for you, and family therapy may be something to consider as well at some point. (After all, you did refer to your spouse as a "monster" in one reply you wrote previously.) But if those services are simply unavailable to you presently, a transgender forum website might be your best alternative, at least to my way of thinking.

I myself am an old man now. But I've waged my own battle with my gender identity my entire life, although I never did anything about it. But, as a result, I think I do understand something of what has been / is going on with your spouse; as well as with you in trying to deal with what is occurring in your marriage. There certainly are plenty of examples of couples who have managed to stay together despite the reality of one member undergoing gender transition. Hearing from some of those folks (as well as from folks who were not so fortunate) might be just what is needed at present, at least until both your spouse, as well as you, can acquire professional services. Best wishes...

P.S. I noticed ((retrospectively) you wrote, in your title, you're looking for information. Is there specific information you hoped to gain via this thread?