All the blood tests I’ve ever taken have always come back fine with everything checked.

I think what happens is I have anxiety and my h has anxiety. The intimacy triggers this anxiety most in both of us, and we are not good for each other in this way because of that.

I wish the doctor would have been as forthright with me as you have about how the meds only manage my reactions to the challenge and do not help stop the challenge before it goes bad which causes my ‘overreaction’.

Meh, I chose to endure traumatic intimacy dysfunction causing me frustration, anger, and profuse crying to the point of debilitation rather than ending the marriage. I chose that many, many years ago and it continued all this time. I chose it out of my selfishness because of all the other great things it provided me. I chose it out of my wish to have and maintain a family. I chose it because I do love him (but I vascillate each time we constantly deal with the intimacy struggle). I chose to endure because of my fear that I have a disorder and I may be much worse off emotionally if I leave.

I just spent a few days away, and I didn’t like the feeling of having to go it alone. It’s just too stressful for me. I came home, just wanting to act like I need to and lean on his partnership. He’s safe. I’m not sure I’m okay by myself, nor think that would be something I want.

This psychiatrist is the most egotistical person I’ve ever met, but I don’t care if he can finally help me. My blood test has shown I am still on a sub therapeutic dose, so he may want to increase, which scares me and I don’t know if I want to do that.

If these meds do help me bounce back sooner, I’ll take that improvement. They currently do not have bad side effects for me.

I came home from this few days away feeling like I can just let go of the traumatic montage of all that happened and keeps flashing back on me daily, constantly. I feel I can move forward. It wasn’t the meds that did that. It was the reality of being on my own!