Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Nothing wrong with buying a gift. Of course provided the gift isn’t something weird
It’s not the same as there was no abuse or infidelity, but my ex husband and I remain friends for life. But we are not alone in it. I know many other people who remain friends. I’d say if no children involved, perhaps it’s uncalled for but when there are kids, it’s good to stay on good terms (if possible, sadly you can’t be on good terms with some people, still you want to maintain civility).
It’s good for the kids and for others involved. For example you don’t want to make your kid’s wedding or graduation party guests uncomfortable because you and the father have obvious animosity. I’ve been to events like that. Very uncomfortable for all involved, especially one’s kids .
Remain appropriate and civil but continue moving on, that’s the plan!
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Civility is what we are both aiming for, but passions fly. we are still having sex I'm ashamed to admit. I figure, I will probably not gonna get any for a loong time while I go through this and put my self back together. I'm not in to 1 night stands and the thought is dating seems revolting to me at this point, I'm a beautiful fit smart career woman, but I can't even contemplate going to bed with anyone else right now. Civility, civility.. I love him, he doesn't love me, I have accepted that, so having mindless sex with him that doesn't matter seems like my consolidation prize because I apparently have no self respect, no boundaries and my inner empress has not surfaced yet. I am in purgatory, I am numb, I habitats limbo land where I don't know how I got here and have to wait to get out. I am being civil for the kids, but the truth is that he doesn't interact with the kids, he wants to interact with me. I am working hard towards seeing him for what he really is, and trying to be "civil" (aka not hate his selfish cheater self) while I get the payout that I worked do hard for. So I'm putting up with all the baloney, mind games and emotional vortex. It is going to be a long year. I can't be friends with him like he wants, friends don't hurt their friends. I want to point out that the same happen before. Walk out, come back. Two years later walk out... Coming back part time while he gets his living arrangement situated. I am ashamed to type this, but I obviously need help. I am in counseling. I am OK, just numb and with the sole objective to make it through the day. I will deal with tomorrow tomorrow. I am not confused and I am the one that made this arrangement, perhaps so the kids can see some normality around here. Yes, I know that I am a pathetic chump, I feel bad about myself, but smug at times. No tears will be she'd as I have gone through so much trauma that I don't feel anything anymore. When I cried at least I had an emotion, I feel nothing now.