Definitely not alone, my friend. I feel like I keep having this "why didn't I just...not do that?" kind of dialogue in my head and sometimes even panicking over how I put myself and others in serious danger, so it's a reminder that I gotta make sure I'm on top of this illness so I don't get to those states again. Working on being proactive. It's only really bad when I'm living in my head though, so when it gets bad I make sure to go spend a day outside doing something fun.