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Purple,Violet,Blue · Jan 13, 2021 at 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I understand dear Purple, being told off, bullied and/or criticised by ''higher ups'' is a trigger for sure

(the thing is, they are not as superior as they think they are...(or at all if they are bullies) or if they are, its in ''status'' only, which is quite meaningless in the deeper scheme of things. Not that that helps me much either, I find it very hard to stay on my side in those situations too.

Thank you

You're right. It is meaningless in the deeper scheme of things

and these people aren't really 'superior'

I've done a lot of thinking over the years about this classic CPTSD symptom of abandoning oneself when under stress. It's really one of the worst feelings in the world. Someone attacks or humiliates me, and I take their side! I agree with them, whole-heartedly! My only thoughts (sweating, and in a blind panic by now) are about how I can make them like or respect me again!

That's what I 'am'.

That's how my body and mind will always want to react!

This leads to a great, deep and awful shame