hey couchies. i'd been doing so well for the last couple of months but everything just feels bad last night and today. I feel so sad and heavy-hearted and I want to cry but for the first time in recorded history I am unable to cry because I am afraid that if I let myself, I will never stop. The pandemic just goes on and on and on and gets worse and worse and worse and my long-time friends are at war with each other over stupid political stuff and all the overtime at work and I'm being forced to take web calls today which is awful because people hate our website and they are so very mean about it and I just feel like I'm completely falling apart and I can't hold any of it anymore. I don't know why it's all come to a head this morning. I just want to call in sick and run away. But I can't go anywhere because of covid. I know that a ton of people are feeling this way and it's not just me and I'm just being a big damn baby but that's the way it is. I feel awful in my head today. i cant' even talk it out loud but it does help a little to write it out. i'll try to get more positive. thanks for listening.