i can relate to what you're saying. i too have tried to chase a friendship while i was in school a few years ago but it never worked out, disappointigly so because i really admired this person. Please do not give up as there are many people whom would likely enjoy talking to you although you don't know them at the moment. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Have Hope, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!