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Soupe du jour
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Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
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Default Jan 13, 2021 at 12:58 PM
 
I'm generally pretty good at small talk. Perhaps being a gabby woman by nature helps, as does having a background in sales and marketing.

It's certainly helpful to try to get a sense for who you're talking with. That can easily determine what topics are safe and of interest to both parties. But if you don't know the person at all, one person should start with some basic questions and then the second should respond and follow up with related ones, or ones that can easily stem from the initial. Obviously the weather is the world known "basic" conversation piece, but as I wrote, it doesn't have limits. For example, if it's winter and cold, that can easily lead to chat on winter activities (sports, tolerance of such weather, memories of past weather events, noticing their sweater and commenting on it, etc.)

I'm not a huge fan of career talk, but it's often inevitable or at least can help lead to related topics. For example, you can always mention what your degree was in college and avoid the career talk. Or easily pivot to hobbies and interests, avoiding career talk. Or, go ahead and talk about your career.

If you are in the house/apartment of a new acquaintance, that provides a treasure trove of potential topics. Look around and see what's there. They are clues into the interests of the person. If you share one, that's excellent.

Small chat is appreciated by many. Talking about squirrels or birds or trees can be fun. Coffee or tea enthusiast? Plenty to discuss.

I do think it's important to be at least almost equal in the questions asked/answered. One-sided conversations are problematic. If a tough/unwelcome question is asked, learn how to pivot, by returning a question in response. It's best to keep conversations with new people positive, even if you feel like ****. Less positive stuff can be discussed later.
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