Well, I certainly don't hate you. I love you. If you can't love yourself -- and you're right, you can't wash away years of thinking of yourself in a certain way because someone tells you to -- then try using my feeling for you as a substitute. Perhaps it would help if you think, "I may still hate myself for this, but Cheshire Cat loves me and sees no guilt." You were a child, just a child. The responsibility should have fallen on adult shoulders. They should have supported you; instead they failed you. You are NOT to blame. You never were. You never will be. NEVER. Not in my eyes. You are carrying around the guilt for another's failure. I see you only as someone who fell victim to a predator. Period. In my opinion, you were assaulted twice; once by the perpetrator, once by those adults who did nothing to step in and stop this from happening again. I will never see you as being guilty of anything. And I hope that someday, your eyes will see the same. love, Cheshire