So here’s the deal. I’m a democrat. I’m practically a socialist. I voted for Bernie Sanders in the primaries. Then this summer came along. I was ok with protesting and rioting, but not looting. The police saved my life when I was 5 and something very criminal happened to me. Thank god for the police and their guns. I oppose defunding police and think that the racism in the police and justice system must be dealt with immediately. Just not through defunding the police. I didn’t even care about the autonomous zones. If I was young, I probably would have participated. I have cared about the violence this summer. I’m still a democrat, right? Wrong. According to my liberal friends, I am a racist, white nationalist, deplorable and more. I was chased all over FB being called a racist. I had to unfriend people and block people and friends wondered what I did. I vowed I would not vote democrat. And I held my nose and voted for Trump who is a narcissistic maniac. It may sound childish, but I was very hurt. I still am as this issue continues to pop up. A dear friend is a Sargent in the MinneapolisMN police department. She is also a licensed mental health counselor. After the defund passed they had more than 150 officers leave. She is working 88hr/week shifts and says response time is down. A slower response time when I was 5 would have gotten me killed. Because of the police I escaped with my life. I stand with my friend in Minneapolis. I am against racism and for better qualified police recruits, better training, and if we want to add social workers working with police (not independently) then raise my taxes don’t take it from the police department. Better yet, cut some pork projects from the budget.

I feel angry. I was forced out of my party by people who were my friends who behaved in a disgusting way. I was forced out of my party because I can’t have a nuanced opinion on a topic based on the story of my life. It’s all or nothing.

I am partyless and will probably be looking to the Green Party from now on. But I did it. I voted for trump. I feel excessive guilt and the need to confess. I did it to get back at those who hurt me but I hurt myself.

My pdoc is liberal and posted anti-trump memes on her Facebook page. I have many liberal views, but now I feel the need to confess my vote and the fear she will forever treat me differently. Maybe not like me. But I know I don’t have to confess.