You know what's ironic? I am very empathetic and I often times have found myself involved with the wounded, the tragic and those who have been traumatized, because I can empathize SO much. And of course, by you saying if you stripped everything away, you would see the traumatized person. which naturally pulls on my empathy. But being SO empathetic has proven to bring me only toxic, unhealthy and abusive relationships in the end. I myself am a traumatized kid in an adult body. I guess i am attracted to other traumatized people and men. I am still trying to figure it out, at the age of 50! You're far ahead of the game, at your age. You're very young still, but very aware. You know what works and what doesn't work for you. That's being far ahead in my opinion.